The Secret.

No, not that stupid one Oprah has been talking about.  That one just annoys me.

My secret is way more subversive.  Are you ready? 

I like my fatter body better than my thinner body.  

I completely didn’t expect this.  I’ve spent so long hating the fat parts of my body (because you have to hate entire regions of your body to get really good at dieting–highly successful dieting must be fueled by a lot of self-loathing, after all), that I didn’t imagine that I could actually prefer my body with fat.

But I do.  I like the softness of my belly and the smooth heft of my legs and I particularly like the way you can’t see my sternum anymore.  I feel curvy and comfortable and way too cute for my own good. 

The excellent part of this is, I have gained a noticeable amount of weight; like, I’m getting full-on double takes at work now, and while no one has said anything, I know it’s  they’re all thinking, “Wow…she’s packed some weight back on.” 

But instead of being bothered, I mostly just feel delighted and thrilled that I’m living in a body of my choosing, not the body the world says I should have.  And all those long, odd looks?  That doesn’t change the fact that I feel fan-freakin’-tastic these days and am enjoying living in my body more than I ever did at any point during the diet days.

So, that’s my secret.  I think I need it on a t-shirt, because damn.  The women around me should know about this.