Go through to get through.
Sweet merciful pants, this has been a hard weekend.
I can’t pinpoint what’s going on with me. I’m anxious and uncomfortable, lonely and antsy. Dark clouds are gathering, covering me, pressing me down.
I feel lost right now. I know I need to soldier through and keep a stiff upper life and all that, and that’s very much what I want to do, but there’s that little siren song of my old habits calling me toward the rocks. I can’t listen, I know I can’t listen, but that doesn’t keep me from hearing.
All I can do is keep going through the motions. I’ll get my exercise (and try not to do too much), I’ll eat when I’m hungry (and try to ignore the calculator and the clock), I’ll make food choices based on my stomach and body, not my mouth, and I’ll hope that things will get back to normal soon.
Cross your fingers for me.
Hello. I just found your blog via elastic waist. I read your first entry and was so interested that I read the whole of your archives in one sitting. I’m finding your journey to be very motivational and enlightening. Some day, I hope to be where you are with listening to the signals your body is sending. Well, I’ll be listening to my signals but you know what I mean. =) There are some things that you wrote that really speak to the core of my issues. So, thank you. I’ve shared your blog with my husband so he can see what I’m going through and how I hope to improve in the near future.
Anyway, thank you for writing.
Take care,
Timmi
I hope you’re able to keep listening to your body, and ignoring the siren call of your old habits.
I want you to know that I’ve been reading your blog off-and-on the past few weeks, and… you’ve helped me. It’s bizarre - I’m a fat woman who’s never dieted, most people would assume we have nothing in common. But until I started reading your blog, I would have insisted I had perfectly “ordered” eating habits.
I don’t. I have a whole litany of shame-based behaviors that I never realized I had, because they aren’t “dieting”.
Thank you. Thank you for writing so truthfully, so honestly about your journey back to health.
I found your blog via Big Fat Blog and I have been checking it religiously since. I am recovering from anorexia and have had it with meal plans and counting calories. But it is insanely difficult to stop. You have really inspired me to trust my body and to really try to stop my disoirded eating. If only the thoughts would just vanish… Anyway, thank you so much for this blog. You have no idea how much it has helped me. Please keep writting!
Hugs. That’s all.
What Kate said. Plus also: don’t panic.
I think your problem is that you are getting back to normal. And normal for you (and most women) is being neurotic about our bodies.
So I will encourage you to keep being a weirdo who loves herself just the way she is!
You’re going to be fine. You are strong!