Feel the burn.
Just like, oh, 10 out of 7 Americans, I’ve been on antidepressants. I thought I was just dark and intense like a brooding 19th century poet, but apparently daily considering offing yourself for 20 consecutive years is not normal. So, along came a prescription for meds.
I loved them, loved feeling stable and serene and disconnected from the ups and downs of my life. After a while, I learned ways of dealing with my negative behaviors and felt ready to live without my meds.
One thing that really helped me transition off the meds was working out. A good, hard, sweat-drenched workout gives me the same feeling of…lightness. Of being above the hubbub, instead of underneath it. Coming home after work and spending an hour lifting or running or whatever separates me from the stress of the workaday world. It lets me forget the names I’ve been called, the tears I’ve witnessed, the broken parts of lives I’ve been handed and asked to fix. It moves me out of my mind and into my body and in my body? There’s not a lot of thinking. There is only one foot in front of the other, one more rep, one more mile.
I let working out get really intertwined with my dieting behaviors, but I’m ready to reclaim it. While physically I may not need an hour-plus of exercise a day, I need it mentally. I need it to stay off the antidepressants, to forget about the 440 cases sitting in my file cabinet at the office, to feel powerful and centered.
I know my body and I know that working out more will likely result in some weight loss, but I can’t even care about that right now.
I just want to be strong.
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Thank you for the reminder of what exercise can do for me mentally. I have been connecting it to weight loss and avoiding it and yet, if I am honest with me, I need it mentally. Thank you.
I’m on antidepressants too.
Once in a while (like over these past few days), I know I need a good cry over something, but find I can’t get it out.
Does that happen to you?
I don’t think that for me, exercise cuts it. I feel that antidepressants like Prozac are better for fighting depression than just exercise alone. I exercise and it does help a little but it’s not the cure all for it.
I too recently reclaimed exercise. I’ve put less focus on what I’m eating and have just been trying to get to the gym or get active often. And you know what? I could not agree with your description more, of feeling above the hubbub rather in it. It’s such a powerfully optimistic feel-good feeling, that wash of endorphins. i think i still need the celexa, though.
Oh, I’m not saying that exercise is a substitute for antidepressants. Not even close. Without the antidepressants, I would have never been able to get to a point where I could even recognize the good feelings exercise can create. It took a year on medication to get me far enough out of my hole to realize *anything* could feel good. For me, though, the release I get from working out keeps me from toppling back into that hole completely.
DivaJean, yes, that totally happens to me. I can cry over a book, over a good commercial, but sometimes when I need the release of tears for something real, it just won’t happen. I hope whatever’s going on with you for the last few days rights itself soon.