Comments on: Avoidance.

By: belly

belly — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:20:17 +0000

this was one of the most powerful things i’ve read in a long time.

your words swept through me, haunting a very deep part of my heart, touched my quiet, secret broken parts. i want to cry “mercy!” after reading this. and yet, nestled in the depth of this post, i sense a very, very bright light. i sense hopefulness and holiness. these words you had the courage to share? these are the words of scarcity, of sacredness. i am a firm believer that for as far as the emotional pendulum can swing in one direction, it also has the capacity to swing equally far in the other direction. i don’t mean happy vs. sad. i mean despair, darkness, loneliness vs. deeply satisfying, pure joy.

“I have felt beautiful and strong and valuable, not in spite of my body or because of my body, but in tandem with my body. I felt like a whole girl…” this is prayer. this is lightness and healing. this came from you.

thank you for sharing.

By: Propagatrix

Propagatrix — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 00:30:59 +0000

Longtime lurker, first-time commenter…count me in on the “big hugs” crew. Reading today’s post made me want to show up on your doorstep with a basket of cheese and all the Melrose Place DVDs.

By: goodwithcheese

goodwithcheese — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:57:48 +0000

You guys rule. I can’t thank you enough for all the supportive words!

Rachel, what you said about going off your medication because your ED needed the depression really resonates with me. When I start getting into my old behaviors, I get almost frustrated that I can’t be as ‘disciplined’ as I used to be. What it is really is that I just don’t hate myself like I used to, so I can’t make self-punishment a way of life now. I can do it for a few days or a few weeks, but I don’t have the endless well of self-disgust to draw from anymore. And good day or bad day, that’s pretty freakin’ awesome.

By: psychsarah

psychsarah — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:55:54 +0000

Hey-just a note to say that I was glad to see a post today. Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time-as others have said, hopefully you can post about the ugly stuff and glean some support and love from us out here in blog-land. I hope this doesn’t sound too cheesy, but I think learning to love yourself (and your body) is a tough thing, and learning that others will love you unconditionally (i.e. whether you post that you’re doing well or having a bad time) is a great step towards learning to love yourself that way too!
Also, as others have mentioned, believe it or not, us readers get concerned when you appear to fall off the face of the earth (i.e. not post)! Hang in there!! Big hugs to you!

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:49:06 +0000

Hey Megan – you aren’t alone. I think this season is especially trying to anyone trying to recover from an eating disorder. And you’re right; it does take a great degree of self-hatred to continue with an ED. After I was first prescribed medication for depression, I went off of it because I needed the depression in order for the eating disorder to “work.”

By: My Secret Police » The-F-Word.org

My Secret Police » The-F-Word.org — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:49:19 +0000

[...] November through, say, the end of January isn’t a good time to eating disordered recovering. Not that there ever is a good time, really, but these few months are especially trying. Just ask Meg, Charlynn or Megan. [...]

By: Clink

Clink — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:34:22 +0000

I get it. I just…get it.

I’ve been doing the same lately and while it makes me sad to hear about someone else going through the same thing, it also makes me feel less alone. Less like a freak who can’t even get EATING right.

By: Jill

Jill — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:57:44 +0000

It may shock you to hear this, but you are normal. You are not alone. This time of year sucks for many reasons – the let down of the HOLIDAZE, the cold dark winter days, no more paid days off until May , and I know you have other “stuff” going on that you don’t post about, but really, but everyone has the winter doldrums. You are falling back on the coping mechanisms you know best and whether they be good or bad, it’s what you know. It helps you feel in control when so many things feel out of your control. There is a part of you that is healthy emotionally and physically – don’t drown her out! Listen to her and post here and get all the encouragement you can handle from your blog buddies. And don’t forget – this is the Year of the Cheese – and you STILL rock supreme!! Take care chickie!

By: Patsy Nevins

Patsy Nevins — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:43:17 +0000

I just want to send you hugs & best wishes. I am sorry that you are going through a bad time & I hope that you will come out the other side soon. Please know that you are beautiful & special just as you are & try to ignore all the bullshit we are fed in this body image disordered culture…fed by people who care nothing about our health or happiness & who only want to make a profit. Take care.

By: Princess Nix

Princess Nix — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:03:10 +0000

HUG HUG HUG HUG

We all love and care about you. We worry when you don’t post. Keep posting, even if it’s stuff you’re ashamed of.

You can get through this, we all believe in you!