An Open Letter.
Dear Women I Work With,
To begin, I am not interested in what you are eating today unless you also brought some for me.
If you tell me about some kind of “dessert” you fashioned out of rice cakes, fat-free Cool Whip, and Splenda, don’t expect me to say it sounds good. Because I won’t. Because I’m not that good of a liar.
I am not going to tell you that you are “good” for eating an apple no matter how much you fish for that. I eat apples almost every day and I’ve yet to achieve sainthood, so I think there’s not actually a moral component to apple-eating.
I do not care that you lost five pounds. That’s why I shrugged and said, “And?” It’s not because I’m rude; it’s because I don’t think your worth is measured by your weight.
When you say you “shouldn’t” have that piece of chocolate, I will agree only if it turns out you stole it from either a small child or me. Otherwise, it’s chocolate. It’s delicious. Get over yourself.
And lastly, this is an election year. Our nation is at war. The Super Bowl is this weekend. The Oscars are coming up. There are million things we can talk about besides how fat you think you are.
Please stop being so boring.
Sincerely,
Megan.
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Dear Megan,
You’re the best.
You make me laugh.
You make me appreciate myself, my body, and my health.
Sincerely,
Jen
Well said!!!!!
Dear Megan,
You are awesome. I have a few people I’d like to send this letter to as well.
Sincerely,
Julia
Dear Megan,
I agree with Jen. You’ve said what we all wish we could.
Love,
Nix
Will you be my new best friend? AMAZING
This is brilliant!
Amen to that sistah!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Megan. ^^ That’s awesome and I agree wholeheartedly.
A-freakin-men.
Goddam. I wish I could’ve had the nerve to say this to the women I used to work with at an animal shelter - you’d think the seriousness of the work would’ve kept them from poring over trashy magazines every chance they got and pointing out cellulite and “side boobs”, but no. Or forming a “diet club” that both encouraged weekly weigh-ins on the dog scale and also the binging on chocolate everytime something sad happened (which was often, considering). Megan, you are so cool. This blog is one of my faves!
Wow, that rice cake thing sounds hilariously disgusting but all too familiar to some of the things I invented when I was dieting. OMG I wish someone would come up with a polite yet value neutral response for when people want to be praised for dieting. I can never think of anything better than “oh, cool.”
Seriously, I want to print off 100 copies of that letter and pin them up everywhere I go.
*applause*
Well said! I feel the same way when I talk to many people I know - and it’s always good to remind myself, when I start talking about how much I’ve gained, how much I’m selling myself short. I’m WAY more interesting than that! (Grin!)
oh my GOD can i print this out and have it laminated and carry it around pinned to my sweater?
or maybe just tattoo it on myself…
That was the best. I wish I’d had that when I worked at the Star*ucks corporate office…
Wordy McWordypants. This needs to be framed on the wall of my office!
The bit about the dessert reminds me of the awful show “You Are What You Eat.” The diet expert made the man stop taking all the nice homemade cakes and jams from the elderly parishioners, and got him to make some hideous thing - Carob-Fudge Brownies - “no flour, no butter, no sugar, no chocolate.” The women were all, “What’s IN it?” but they politely pretended they weren’t spitting it into their napkins. One of the husbands, however, didn’t bother. He said it was horrible. Hee!
If someone said that to me about the dessert thing, I’d probably say, “Ok so if I baked up some Nestle’s superchunk cookies instead of rice cakes, and whipped some heavy cream with real sugar instead of coolwhip and splenda, and put in some vanilla…oh wait a minute - yeah, that does sound good! I’ll bring some in tomorrow!”
Anyway, awesome post. I don’t work with many dieters, but I’m going to keep this in mind for when I do hear from them
so so true. There is nothing worse than the girls all sitting around talking about food because they’re so desperate to actually eat some, or staring at me like I have two heads when I eat something other than lettuce for lunch.
I work in a suite that is part of a larger honeycomb of offices. My suitemates are another fat woman (who seems A-OK with herself), and older woman who likes food, and a very thin and petite woman who can eat whatever the heck she wants without fear of weight gain. So in my immediate circle of coworkers, there is a blessed absence of diet talk.
However, in the next suite over is a guy who has recently lost some weight, to hear him tell it, who constantly comes over to talk to the skinny coworker about his diet. Yesterday it was all about how all he ate over the weekend was broth and water so that his stomach would shrink and he would then be more satisfied with smaller portions. I generally just keep to myself but I wanted to turn around and say:
1. That kind of hardcore restriction sounds like an eating disorder.
2. You’re more likely to gain weight as a result of that foolishness since your body is really going to want some damn food now, and good luck ignoring it.
3. Can you just shut the fuck up about your gd diet for one minute, please? (or, Megan’s last paragraph, above.)
He also had the temerity to comment on what I selected from this fantastic buffet of hot foods the last (only, actually) time I went to lunch with him. Hmmm. I didn’t realize I was so pissed off about this. Something in this Fat Acceptance movement must be sinking in if I’m getting angry about the diet talk instead of beating myself up.
This one REALLY brought it home for me. Great post!
Somehow, I feel less guilty about eating a piece of chocolate now. I’m entitled! And also it’s an election year - chocolate should be the least of my worries.
You are awesome.
A-Freaking men!
Over Christmas my FIL made a huge deal about taking another cookie.
“Guess we’ll have to burn this off later.”
I replied, “Don’t be a wuss.”
Dear Megan,
You are made of win.
Love,
Sparkle Pants
But really, I so know what you mean. At my last job, I had a coworker who at first I thought of as an ally in this whole love yourself war but in the end, I found out she really doesn’t like herself unless herself is eating fat free food. Granted, her family does have a history of health problems, so I get that aspect but I had to remove myself from many conversations with her and other coworkers because it was all about calorie counts and her amazing! weight loss! and she was considered some sort of weight loss goddess in our building because she had teh fat and now she doesn’t!
I want to commit this piece to memory and be able to quote it every day at work!
Wow.. I am suddenly very happy that I mostly work with men. Do women seriously sit around talking about this stuff?? Wow.
You rock. I’m pretty lucky, where I work there isn’t much of this talk inspite of the fact that my company is mostly made of women, but there is an abundance of this talk in my head, about food and life in general, and I can always use a reminder that I have no moral obligation to do anything, except be happy and loving.
Oh, and I am totally guilty of the rice cakes with Cool Whip dessert. And at the time I too thought surely it was as tasty as a warm brownie slice with dulche de leche ice cream. Needless to say now that my brain again has nutrients, I see the error of my ways.
we clearly work at the same office. small world!
Dear Megan:
I love you.
Love,
Crystal
How timely - as I finished the rice cake bit an ad came on saying “I hate dieting” with some woman chomping on a rice cake. LOL
Unfortunately, it turned out to be some dumb Lean Cuisine ad pretending it wasn’t really a diet ad. These “we swear we’re not a diet” ads are the new black.
Dear Megan,
Fabulous letter.
Love,
Zmama
[...] http://goodwithcheese.wordpress.com/2008/01/28/an-open-letter/ Posted by Nicki at 22:16 in Uncategorized | [...]
Megan - thank you so much for sharing that, kept me smiling all day!!
xx
I love your posts — they are always so pithy and right-on! This letter is just kick-ass great!
This is freaking hilarious. I love your words!
I am so glad I have female coworkers who love eating chili cheeseburgers and talking about how awesome bacon is.
Beautifully stated! I work with men. They only talk about work. But this sounds FAR worse.
[...] I know that places like this are overpopulated with weight-obsessed types (although, really, most companies are) and that type of mentality will surely rub off on [...]
That is freakin’ awesome. I may print this and take it to my therapist. She’ll wanna hang it on her office walls!!!
[...] In the past few months I’ve read a lot of horror stories about people whose offices joined the cult of Weight Watchers or started their own version of The Biggest Loser, and I’ve silently thanked God that my office [...]
Well said my dear.
I just stumbled by and will keep reading.
Thanks for your honesty
Gertrude
http://gertrudegrannypanties.wordpress.com
[...] favorite so [...]