At Home.
Fillyjonk has a great post up at Shapely Prose about why it’s important to treat your body with love and attention even if it’s not your ideal. It’s good reading and really resonates with me.
I don’t put a lot of effort in dressing myself well. I have lots of excuses: a wee clothing budget, a lack of shopping choices given where I live, a low tolerance for fluorescent lighting and dressing room mirrors.
But my very, very biggest reason? I’m not completely convinced that this is my real and permanent body. I sometimes think that as I become better at intuitive eating, my weight will stabilize a bit lower. Or that when spring comes and I can run outside more, I’ll drop back into a size 10. Or that magic elves will come during the night and spirit away my thighs, and I’ll suddenly look really good in skinny jeans.
Honestly, though? I stopped dieting in April, my body arrived at this weight in June, and I’ve not moved more than 4 or 5 pounds in either direction since. That includes the times when I relapsed into calorie-counting, the periods of poor eating and no exercise, and lots of weeks of sensible food choices and rigorous workouts. I’ve run the gamut of behaviors and my weight hasn’t left the 143 - 148 range (PMS-related bloating doesn’t count!). That sounds at least semi-permanent, no?
Even if this changes six months from now, even if I shift into a size 14 or a size 10 or something else altogether, I need to treat my body like it’s my home, not a brief stop on the way to somewhere better.
If that means minor shopping trauma or scheduling a real haircut instead of just hacking at my hair in my bathroom or actually using the gift certificate for a manicure* that my husband got me instead of waiting for “a reason,” then that’s what I need to do.
This is home. And there’s no place like it, right?
*I’ve never had a manicure. Is that weird for a 31-year-old woman? I’ve been working really hard at keeping my hands injury-free for the last 2 months and have been leaving my cuticles alone in preparation, but I’m still nervous. There’s a good chance that no amount of primping will make my charwoman hands pretty and that would be rather sad-making.
Eh. I have had only one manicure ever, and when I wanted it to last a long time, the woman was like, Oh no, this will last 1 week. I was like, and this will be a grand waste of money.
Of course, I’d rather get a massage, which for me, is 1 hour of unadulterated bliss. Yes.
Brava!! I like manicures, but my hands are always too bitten to get one, so I get pedicures instead.
My best friend reached 22 without a manicure and the only reason she got one was because I cajoled her–something tells me if I hadn’t asked her to accompany she would have made it to 31 without a manicure! So I would say there is nothing strange about a 31-yr-old manicure virgin
Uhhhh…58-year-old manicure virgin here. Not in my budget or my lifestyle or to my taste.
I prefer pedis, myself. A little more cost, lasts a whole whole whole lot longer.
And be proud of your work-worn hands! I love hands with character. I wish my hands weren’t such soft, squishy, manual labor less things.
I just started getting manicures this year; I’ve had two so far to add to my previous three in the past twenty-three years. I have dry, begging-to-be-picked-at cuticles and my hands were an horrible. Since I started getting manicures I notice I treat them a little better. And sometimes I even stare at them and marvel at the fact that these pretty hands belong to me.
So I’d definitely recommend giving it a shot. You’re worth it.
At the very least, have a pedicure. The foot and calf massage you get feels so good!
And go ahead and buy yourself some new clothes. Doesn’t matter what size you are: you still have to leave the house (no matter what the fat haters say).
Start with something low-key inexpensive, like from Old Navy.
Get the manicure!!! Seeing your hands all prettied up will make you appreciate being a woman - curves and all!!
I’ve never had a manicure, either - though, oddly, I’ve had more than one massage and also a full-body scrub/wrap thing in which I was nude and encased in tin foil.
I love the line about the elves spiriting away your thighs - that’s how I feel about mine, too. I keep waiting to wake up and Shazam! Thin thighs! It hasn’t happened yet, though.
Never had a manicure either and probably won’t anytime soon.
As for the clothes shopping, I was the same way when I switched sizes so I started out small, a cute jacket to wear to work, a summer only blouse or a stretchy wear everywhere dress. I’ve had amazing luck with Target and New York and Company which is also really nice with all of their sales. Speaking of which aren’t there President’s Day sales are coming up soon?
I’m a 35-year-old woman who’s never had a manicure, and I don’t have any intentions of ever having one. I’ve never been a “girly” girl, instead I’m the outdoorsy type. I’ve also always been either a poor non-profit worker or, now, a poor student, so I hate to spend money on something that I’m just going to mess up in a few days anyway. I’d be more tempted to get a professional massage (which I’ve also never done), but still - I can think of better ways to spend my limited expendable cash.
Good w/Cheese, you are a love. Take good care of yourself, whatever that means to you.
We’re about the same size, I think, judging by what you’ve said. Every day I struggle with wanting to be thinner, and every day I look at myself in the mirror and say, “Sweetie, you are fabulous just the way you are right now”. Go ahead and get yourself some well-fitting trousers (TJ Maxx has awesome sales if you have one near you)and a few sleek sweaters. Hold your head high, thrust out your chest, and fake it till you make it!
That’s it. I’m going on a shopping expedition this weekend. The only pants I have left that fit are stretch workout ones because I’ve refused to buy anything new after expanding through four sizes. I do believe my weight will go down at some point, because I’ve been struggling with binge eating of a new force since the fall. It’s been getting better, slowly, and I’m assuming from past experience that once I’ve kicked it and gone back to being healthy about things, I’ll be about 10 pounds lighter than now. (And if not, I will accept my body wherever it does land.)
In the meantime, I still need pants, and that’s something that I haven’t wanted to accept. I’m accepting it now. My old skinny jeans will be given a new life as Goodwill donations. Maybe a small child will find that they fit just fine.
“I need to treat my body like it’s my home, not a brief stop on the way to somewhere better.”
That really resonated with me… I’ve just begun IE in recent months, and am significantly overweight. I want to be thinner for various reasons (health, to be able to fit into a booth again, etc, etc) but mainly I want off the merry-go-round that is dieting. I never get anywhere with it, except into a larger clothing size when I ultimately “fail” at the diet and go mad with food.
So, while I work through my diet baggage on the road to eating intuitively again, this is a good adage for me to remember. Thanks.
I’m 36, no manicures. Blech. The thought of someone playing with my hands makes me a little queasy.
I enjoyed reading this post. Isn’t it funny how when we give our bodies (and minds) a rest from all the dieting crap, our weight tends to settle where it needs to be?