In Which I Work Blue.
I’m not much for the bad language. That said, I’m not offended by most curse words as long as they’re not demeaning to any group of people other than assholes. But I just don’t use those kinds of words in my everyday speech; it’s not a habit I’ve picked up.
But you know? The single most useful phrase I’ve discovered while giving up dieting and body hatred and self-hatred is this:
Fuck that.
You’re not pretty because you’re fat? Fuck that.
You’re not “a good girl” because you eat meals that are not portioned and calorie-counted and Pointed? Fuck that.
You don’t deserve to love yourself because you have cellulite or wrinkles or gray hair or a size 26 ass? Fuck that.
You’re a quitter because you refuse to starve yourself any more? Fuck that.
You’re too short? Too tall? Too wide-hipped? Too big-chested? Too loud? Too quiet? Too demanding? Too hungry? Too confident? Too proud of yourself?
Fuck that all.
That phrase has saved me in dressing rooms. At grocery store checkouts. While watching television. When flipping through magazines. On the doctor’s office scale. When faced with packing up a closet filled with clothes that have become too small.
I like it because it very simply affirms what I’ve come to believe is true:
Anything that says you are not a worthy person just as you are right now is noise.
And fuck that.
18 comments so far
Leave a reply
Fuck yeah!! This is awesome, and I’m totally stealing it.
Love this. I regularly preach what I like to call “the gospel of mmmmmmmfuckit.” Life is too short.
It’s funny you should bring this up. My boyfriend has been saying for ages that one of the major differences between men and women is the ability of men to say “fuck it” and walk away*.
He is totally cheering in the background right now for equality between the sexes! He is overjoyed that women are embracing this lovely skill.
*He readily admits that this is a huge generalization.
I can be a bit of a sailor (which is often tucked away since I’m now a mommy) mouth – Fuck That sounds like a lovely mantra to me!
Also stealing and posting (with appropriate credit) where it’ll do some good. ^^
You are awesome. For the win!
Megan – thank you, thank you, and thank you again. I’ve wanted to comment on your last few posts, but kept on getting distracted before I could craft the Perfect Comment (ahh, perfectionism, how I hate thee.)
ANYWAY – Fuck that? Fuck yeah.
Great post!!! Since beginning IE I’ve had such a hard time reading my old usual blogs where people are being so hard on themselves during the dieting process; it is so nice to read your affirmation!
[...] February 16, 2008 by Gertrude Megan said it. [...]
Once again, you nail it. Rock on, Cheese!!!!
[...] I forgive myself. As I forgive myself, I leave behind all feelings of not being good enough, and I am free to love myself. Better said by Good With Cheese: fuck that. [...]
amen sister!
You are absolutely fantastic.
YAY!
You forgot “too sensitive”!
I get accused of taking it “too seriously” when I talk about all these issues that we discuss on our blogs. I sometimes use the-F-word when that happens.
I wish I had the courage to say that when I was 13 and on my first diet. I didn’t really think I was pretty until I was 30. All those years wasted thinking I was worthless. I can say it now. And you know it isn’t too late to make something out of my life. I’m going to be the healthiest, happiest person that I can be.
I just found your blog today.
It was when I started saying “fuck that” in my head when my 2nd husband would say demeaning things to me feeling worthless and then saying it out loud to him that I finally got the strength and courage to walk away and start a new life.
Good for you.
beauty
Fuck. That was an awesome post.
I think I love you.
I stumbled upon your blog today, and it makes me feel great. I’ve been fighting an eating disorder for almost two years, and in the last six months “fuck that” has been my way of eating normally and WITHOUT the ohmygodihatemyself-guilt. Go you! Just found your blog and loving it.