A Day In The Life.
This week’s question for Aunt Fattie has gotten me thinking about how I define Health At Every Size for myself. As best I can tell, it usually goes something like this:
Today, I practiced HAES.
I woke up at 6, which meant I got about 8 hours of sleep last night. I function best with 9 hours, but it’s not always possible.
For breakfast, I had a toasted whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and strawberry jam, coffee, and a glass of milk. I usually have something with more protein at breakfast, but I wasn’t feeling it today and I no longer believe in eating things I don’t want just because I think I should. And my English muffin was awesome. I drank two more cups of coffee as I read the paper.
I then showered and got dressed for work, making a point of putting on sneakers because my feet are achy from running yesterday; I probably need new running shoes, so I’ll pay attention to the signals my feet are sending and go shopping this weekend.
At work, I drank a glass of water and took regular breaks from my desk (usually to head for the bathroom, tiny-bladdered-freak that I am). Around 10, I snacked on some carrots and hummus, and two squares of dark chocolate. Tasty!
Lunch was pretty typical: ham and cheddar on whole wheat, a huge banana, a cookie (today was double chocolate chunk), and coffee. I took the stairs back up to my office because it’s faster than the elevators.
Mid-afternoon, I got peckish, so I had a granola bar and deeply regretted not packing cheese and crackers this morning because that’s what I really wanted. Oh, well. Sometimes I just have to eat what’s available when I’m hungry; I don’t always make perfect food matches.
I got home a little later than usual because it was my on-duty day at work and I had to see all the walk-in clients. It’s always super stressful and when I got home, I wanted nothing more than to pull on my comfys, pour a glass of wine, and spoon Little Dog. During my dieting days, I’d usually force myself to run even though I didn’t feel up to it, but these days I know my health isn’t just about my body; my spirit counts, too. So, a glass of shiraz, a Sudoku, and one sleepy wiener dog were healthy choices for me today.
Neither my husband nor I felt all that inspired at dinner, so we grilled some chicken and had it with brown rice, veggies, and a few fantastic strawberries. After dinner, I played a little Wii and then had my nightly ice cream. This week’s flavor is Turtle Brownie, and while my husband wasn’t looking, I dug out a few extra brownie chunks for my bowl. I felt pretty calm and centered today because I managed to eat all day without counting calories one time.
Today I took care of myself: by eating foods I liked, not foods I thought I should eat; by wearing comfortable clothing and shoes; by passing on formal exercise because it felt more punitive than pleasant; by getting enough rest; by engaging in activities that reduce rather than elevate my stress levels.
HAES, for me, means taking good care of myself regardless of the physical appearance of my body. It doesn’t mean eating in a certain way or working out X number of times per week. It doesn’t mean perfect food choices or textbook intuitive eating. It doesn’t guarantee that cancer or heart disease or Alzheimer’s won’t find me in the future (the only guarantee of that would be, like, getting hit by a bus tomorrow. I’ll pass, thanks).
Good caretaking is acknowledging what my body and spirit are asking for today and meeting those requests to the best of my ability as often as I am able. It’s treating myself as valuable and my needs and preferences as real.
So, today I practiced HAES. I’ll practice it tomorrow, too, though it may look like a 5 mile run and tacos for dinner, or maybe yard work and a grilled cheese sandwich. What exactly I do changes day to day, but the goal always remains the same.
Whatever you did today that made you feel happier or stronger or calmer or more like yourself, that felt good in my body and your soul?
That’s HAES. You’re doing it exactly right for you. And good job.
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I’m so glad you posted this today! I really needed to read it right now.
You see, a nasty cold got its claws into me on Monday, and between the coughing and energetic nose-blowing, there is NO WAY I could go to the gym. Never mind how exhausted I am.
But I’ve been bedeviling myself for 3 days now, telling myself that, oh my god, I’ve been “so good” (yup, I fell back into that old trap) for the past 3 months — I’ve been exercising 3 times a week for the past 3 months (occasionally even 4 times a week if the dogs convince me that they’ll keel over without a W-A-L-K). But now this cold is derailing my row of gold stars! Boo-hoo!
I’ve even been constructing what-if scenarios in my fevered brain as to how I can still get in my 3x a week. Like, what if I wake up tomorrow miraculously cured? What if I go and just walk really slowly around the track? What if, what if, what if.
So I really needed this post to remind me — WHAT IF I just take care of my body and give it what it needs? What if I stay home, curl up with the pets and boyfriend, drink oj, and REST so that my body can defeat the virii that have invaded?
That would be HAES, and it would be the best thing for me right now. Thank you for the reminder.
Okay, so my strawberries and ice cream today AND my brisk walk, those are both good HAES things? I need to rethink how I look at my life as good (the walk) and bad (the ice cream) and just enjoy it, because I really could get hit by a bus, huh?
For my part, I took a brisk walk, am making yummy pasta primavera with pesto sauce for dinner, and baked a pie, which is good for both the tongue and the soul. I also took some time to cuddle my cat, which is great for my heart and blood pressure, as well as just plain fun.
I really like your blog, it’s more often than not inspiring for me. I’m going to try and think more about HAES from now on.
I needed this post, so thank you. I’ve been wrestling a lot with the “bad” vs. “good” food demons, and the sense that I *should* be eating healthier even if it’s not necessarily what my body wants at the moment.
I had a small victory today when I thought my snack should be fruit, but my stomach was acting up and I realized that wasn’t what was good for my body and had PB and Wheat Thins instead. It was still hard for me to fight off the “but you need to eat more fruit!” screams, but I did.
That sounds like it was a good day. Thanks for sharing it.
[...] 1, 2008 by queendom Yesterday (or actually very early this morning) before I went to bed I read this post about living HAES on Good With Cheese. I fell asleep thinking how much harder some preexisting [...]
This is such a moving, and illustrative post. Bravo!
Thank you, thank you. I really needed to read this post today. It’s amazing how difficult it is to stay completely on track with HAES: As soon as something acts up in your life; as soon as you encounter a problem; as soon as you start asking yourself the existential questions (”Where is my life going? What am I doing?”) — the body demons come back as though you snapped your fingers and willed them there. And they come so quietly you don’t even notice until you have already become a ball of negative, self-hating energy again.
Today I am going to give myself credit for practicing HAES, even on the days when it’s really, really hard.
Don’t know how that smiley face got there, but hey, I’ll take it
I really like the HAES approach to living you talked about. i never knew how to put what i thought my body needed into words (balance) but this does it.
i find it’s easier to be hard on ourselves then to be good…
this morning i was feeling bad about drinking last night at the bar, but rewarded myself with a good healthy breakfast *omlette, natural pb on toast mmm* and a day to recoop!