Once upon a time…
…I had a blog. That I updated. With some kind of regularity.
Man, those were the days, huh?
There’s not been a lot to say these last few months. I went to the doctor back in June to figure out why I seem broken in a lot of ways, and the results went something like this: “Hey, you’re in the your 30s now. And you come from a long line of chubby women. So, unexplained weight gain? Jacked-up gastrointestinal system? General feeling that something in your body is malfunctioning? Totally normal. You’ll get used to it.”
Thank you, doctor. Can I have my co-pay back now because I could have gotten that much useful information from the janitor for free?
I like my doctor; she’s nice and never rushes me, but I’m annoyed that she threw a blood test at me, looked at the results that fell into “normal” ranges, and sent me on my way. Knowing that I meet the lab ranges for “normal”? Doesn’t actually make me feel better. So, I’m still fighting maintaining my body weight (which isn’t about the weight, but the fact that I’m eating a really healthy diet* and getting 60 – 90 minutes of pretty intense exercise a day and still watching my weight creep up). And I’m wiped out by 9 PM. And my face is weirdly puffy. And…and…and….it just goes on.
I don’t care what I weigh. I don’t care what size I am. I just want my body to respond in a way that seems normal and at all related to my behaviors. It feels like things have gone off the rails. I’m eating well and exercising a lot because I like how I feel when I do those things, but I find it disheartening to have to keep buying new pants. And my joints aren’t happy about the weight gain; when I run or kickbox, I feel it in my knees more than I did 10 pounds ago. And 6 months or 12 months or 2 years from now…I’m scared that these things I love, this running and kicking and jumping around, will get painful because my joints will be suffering from the increased stress of however much more weight I’ve gained by then.
Anyway, I had a follow-up appointment with my doc scheduled last week (only relating to my going-off BCPs and how I was feeling after that, nothing to do with my other stuff), but I cancelled it. Why? Because I’m frustrated that the tiny issue of BCPs is getting more attention that the GIANT issue of my body not working right.
I know I need to go back. I need to make a big, long list of everything that doesn’t feel right or feels out of whack, and I need to advocate for myself. I need answers. ‘Cause “being in my 30s”? Not an answer.
So that’s where I’ve been: biking and running and shopping for new pants and being bitter over an appointment that happened 3 months ago. But now fall’s almost here, and it’s my favorite time of year, and I’m not going to waste another month watching my body go haywire.
I’ll let you know how things go.
*”Diet” = the foods I eat on a daily basis, not a plan for weight loss.
23 comments so far
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Have you tried testing for food allergies?
I very much identify with this post because at 29, suddenly my face seems weirdly puffy (and sort of tingly). Like I’m aware of it all the time, and it is just… puffy.
And carbs are putting me straight to sleep.
Please post what/if you find out about your situation.
Love your blog!
Good to ‘hear’ from you again! This is possible ass-vice, but if you haven’t looked into hypothyroidism, it might be something that would apply (the F-word just had a bunch of posts about this, which is why it’s on my mind, but the fact that a bunch of women in your family deal with this may well mean that there’s an inherited MEDICAL ISSUE, not just an inherited body type going on. So often doctors seem to fall into one of two traps – either you’re in some way outside of the norm for Healthy, so everything must be fixed right away, or you’re just following a family trend, but you’re eating healthfully and exercising, so there’s nothing to worry about! Neither one focuses on how you as the patient *feel*, and how to feel better, which is really one of the primary concerns.
Thanks for letting me get some of my medical angst out over here! I’m probably going to have to go to the doc soon, and I absolutely despise setting up new doctors (just moved to a new state), so I’m a bit more vehement than normal. I hope that the appointment goes well!
I’ve had much better luck going to see a naturopathic doctor – one who views you as a whole person and not as a set of numbers and lab results. It may really be that your body is changing as you age, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t anything you can do about it. I’ve had to completely cut out carbs (well, I can eat small amounts of complex carbs) and sugar (again, not b/c I care about weight but because I was feeling lethargic and foggy and puffy) — and a bunch of other things like taking fish oil and probiotics in large quantities — but within a matter of weeks I was feeling more mentally clear and energetic than I’ve felt in ages. What you need may be totally different, but I can recommend that a naturopathic doctor might be able to give you the guidance that you are seeking.
I second both the thyroid testing and the naturopathic doctor. I actually went to a Doctor of Oriental Medicine (“Oriental” is really the name of the degree – I’m not being an ass) who was able to balance out my thyroid and my gastrointestinal issues with supplements instead of synthetic hormones. Let me tell you, within a week there was a HUGE difference: my weight stablilized, I had more energy, my stomach didn’t hurt all the time.
FANTASTIC.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re so frustrated with your body and the way it’s working (or NOT working) right now. Keep advocating for yourself and you will figure it out!
So glad you’re back! Stay awhile. Keep us posted on how it’s all going.
Thank you for the support and advice. She did check my TSH and the result was 1.84, which is well within the normal ranges. Though “normal ranges”? Can bite me. I don’t know what’s normal for *me*.
As for the other suggestions, I really, really, really appreciate them. I’m lucky in that I’ve been ridiculously healthy for most of my life, so when something crops up, I literally have no ideas other than “go to regular doctor.” So, thank you again.
Jennifer, I haven’t been tested for food allergies, but as I’ve been keeping a food journal for a while now, I haven’t been able to spot any correlations between specific foods and my physical issues. Might be worth checking, though.
Everyone has addressed issues that I’d suggest:
thyroid. If it’s in normal range than no treatment will change things.
watching your foods. I’d say get off cow’s milk and wheat completely and see if that helps, even if you don’t test allergic to them. there are lots of food “sensitivities” that aren’t classic allergies. For me that, was the trick. But that’s for me. You have to find what’s going on for you. Know that a classically trained MD may not be the place to find the answer.
I second going over to http://the-f-word.org/blog at once and reading all the recent hypothyroidism posts. Your doctor might say your thyroid is “normal” but most labs have a “normal” range that is far too wide, and doctors often don’t really know that much about thyroid testing and all that.
Have them check your t4 and t3–your tsh may be normal but that isn’t the whole picture.
Thyroid? I don’t know, but I’ve missed you – I was just thinking about your blog, wondering where you’ve gone, the other day. Welcome back to the internet!! And I hope you either a) find a new doctor who will help you figure this out or b) slap your doctor in submission so that she makes it better (figuratively slap, I mean. Not literally.)
hey, I’m glad you are back too.
h.x
Oh, Debroby made a good point. That same holistic doctor told me to stop eating dairy – that although I wasn’t lactose intolerant, I was allergic to the milk solids. So I can eat fairly high-fat dairy (yay, butter!) but not low- or non-fat dairy (boo, stomachache!). An allergy to milk solids is not something that would necessarily be caught by a “regular” doctor (or so I’ve heard – that could be wrong), but cutting out 90% of the dairy from my diet (because seriously, I’m NOT giving up butter, LOL) made a world of difference.
Hi – I found your blog from Kate Harding and really enjoy your writing. I have to second the commenters that suggested a naturopath or alternative medicine. I have several friends (and myself) who have experienced things that our western doctors couldn’t help with. Our naturopath was able to answer a lot of questions and solve a lot of problems. Naturopaths really do look at the whole person and biochemical systems and not just the symptoms. Best of luck!
Hello,
I’m writing from the publisher of Figure magazine. We’re considering doing a piece on blogging, and I was hoping to get your contact information in case we’d like to feature you and your blog. You can email me at the address listed. Thank you for your help!
You might want to research systemic Candida Albicans infections. A lot of your symptoms are indicators of it. The cure is a low-carb diet and antifungal supplements. Good luck to you!
So happy you’re back! So bummed to hear you’re not feeling at your best. Hope some of the other posters’ suggestions help you get to the bottom of what’s going on with your body.
I recently had a very rushed doctor’s visit. I don’t know why I even bother going sometimes. They just dismiss all my questions etc., and I have a disease, so you’d think they be more interested in case they were related complications . . .
But anyhoo, it is possible that you are working out TOO much for your body (I speak from experience). “60 – 90 minutes of pretty intense exercise” A DAY is a lot and can be hard on your joints. Any intense exercise should be followed by a day of rest/recovery. Having once been interested in the fitness compeitition world, I have read about weight gain or at least no weight loss from pushing your body too hard. You make your gains (i.e. musucle building) not while you are working out, but during recovery when your body is healing and rebuilding itself.
Don’t mean to sound like a broken record if you’re already aware of all that.
…if you’re in your 30’s, and have been on The Pill and just went off, there could be a huge connection there. I mean…our estrogen is connected to weight (I forget how) and there’s probably some adjustment curve as your body goes back to making its own estrogen, or making more or less or whatever to balance out the effect of not having The Pill…..women Change in our 30’s and 40’s and are biochemically different than our teens and 20’s…..
eh. just some thoughts.
I have experienced the exact symptoms you are talking about, except I was 19. I really understand how awful it feels… my weight was up and down DAILY (so hard to dress myself!), my stomach hurt, I felt like i was allergic to everything, I was seriously fatigued, and super puffy. I hardly recognize myself in the photos from those years. I still don’t know what the exact cause was, but I do believe that it was related to my thyroid. I saw an herbalist who muscle tested me, and told me my thyroid was only function at about TEN PERCENT. So I used herbs, and felt 50% better IMMEDIATELY, and then mostly better over the next few months. I also started working with a therapist for the emotional components.
The woman that I worked with does phone consultations, so if you are at all interested just drop me an e-mail.
Also, have you ever tried MSM for your joints? That has helped some athletes that I know.
Feeel better and I am glad you’re blogging again!!
I am not sure what you are eating, but I would suggest looking strongly at a vegan and / or raw diet. Many of our health problems can be traced back to what we eat, such as animal products and too many processed foods. I would suggest reading The China Study and looking up info on raw diets. I have done a lot of research on this over the past several months and would be happy to discuss with you, so feel free to email me.
I hope you get this figured out! I definitely agree with the other that suggested seeking out a homeopathic doctor, or simply another doctor that will delve more thoroughly into what’s going on with your body. I wish you the best!
update requested–even if you’re on atkins or some such fun